Sunday, December 4, 2011

a gringe

Gringe: [n] from the v to gringe, to whinge about Christmas; to be a Grinch

Things to like about Christmas:

  • The sheep and cows in the stable are cool, even if you are not into babies;
  • The Myer Christmas window is dorky but you get to go out at night-time in your jim-jams and stay up late;
  • Buying an old hand-bag from the op shop and filling it with fascinating little colourful bits and pieces for young kids to play with. [There’s something rather cool about the way three-year old boys carry handbags];
  • Eating til you are sick or til you find a threepence in the pudding – whichever comes first;
  • Imagining what it would be like to hear the Cathedral bells pealing at midnight if there wasn’t a law against noise;
  • Buying Oxfam chooks as presents for people who don’t really need more crap;
  • Having fun with people you really like;
  • Having a Kris Kringle limit for get-togethers and seeing who can buy the most ridiculous crap for $5;
  • Keeping in touch with people you care about but don’t have much to do with, by sending a Christmas card and/or letter;
  • Getting Christmas cards and/or letters from people you care about but don’t have much to do with;
  • Hand-made cards and decorations;
  • Leaving work early on the last day before Christmas without losing any pay;
  • Fruitcake [sic] made with brandy or whisky;
  • The story of how the fairy ended up on the very top of the Christmas tree.

Things not to like about Christmas

  • Fake spray-on snow;
  • Christmas trees with snow on them;
  • Christmas cards with snow on them;
  • Office parties;
  • Drunks;
  • Dry, over-cooked, tasteless poultry;
  • Ham;
  • Useless or tasteless gifts from people who expect you to keep/display them;
  • Tinsel and balls that invade other people’s personal space;
  • Forgetting that some people have religious or other reasons for not being as excited about Christmas as everyone else;
  • Bing Crosby singing about snow and sleigh bells for two bloody months – everywhere you go – year after year – [one sixth of your life!!!];
  • Schmaltzy movies or TV episodes about Christmas.

Happy Man Bottle Stopper

Stupid things to do at Christmas

  • Buying gifts for people you don’t like;
  • Buying gifts you don’t like for people you do like;
  • Spending time with people who are horrible every other day of the year and expecting that on Christmas Day it will be different.


  1. I enjoyed reading your list, although I'm not with you on the Christmas episodes. I love the corny stuff.

    The handbag from the opt shop given to kids...Is that a Fruitcake tradition, or a general Australian tradition?

    I am a fan of fruitcake, btw. You and the food!

  2. The man stopper gets my vote. Its sad that Father Bob is being forced to retire by the church. I reckon there's something fishy going on or is it just me :-).

  3. Hi Dina,
    The handbag is The Other's own tradition. The teacher in her loves small things that promote curiosity or encourage development in some fun way. All her nieces,nephews and everyone's grandchildren get the bag treatment. Depending on ages and choking risks [ignoring gender] a car, a super ball or water bomb balloon, bubble blowing kit, lollies - all cheap things.

    Hi Windsmoke,
    I knew you were a naughty boy!
    Yes, Fr Bob is good value, but perhaps a little to radical for the middle management. Funny how there is no compulsory retirement age for the pope.

  4. I agree with your gringe. probabl why I haven't done anything for christmas yet.

  5. Haha - ironic that the sheep and cows, cool though they are, are often what's on the table as well as in the stable!! Another item for the 'not cool' list - exchanging Xmas cards with people who don't like you/you don't like for the sake of it ...

  6. Hi Diane,
    if you are like me you start posting [just a few] cards after Boxing Day.

    top marks for the stable on the table :)
    As for the cards, I'm the grinch in a workplace, because I'd rather offend someone I do like than encourage people who are irritating.