Sunday, May 20, 2012

snow business like show business

I’m off to Bairnsdale next weekend, while The Other stays to tutor in the morning, perform with Choir around lunchish, then go to a giant Gang Show reunion in the evening.

I wouldn’t dream of intruding on tutoring time, but am subj do get tutoring reports – the most recent, for example, explaining how to help someone remember the anatomical structure of the penis:
  1. Take a banana
  2. Peel top
  3. Bite top off banana [swallowing optional]
  4. Force tongue into central core of banana
  5. Observe how banana splits into three parts
No, I did not try it. Feigning disinterest I wait, knowing The Other would eventually have to demonstrate. It works.



Please. I’ve always found snow rather… well, samey. Postcards featuring snow invariably look like snow. Song lyrics often mention snow. Ho hum to someone who has rarely seen snow and is not in a hurry to see more.

Choir’s repertoire, for some reason, contains many songs referring to snow.
One piece has lyrics that go something like this:
The snow, snow, snow, snow [continue with snow until you reach the end of the verse and then return to the part that commences “snow”.]

‘What do you mean you can’t sing?’ asks Mrs B, formerly singing teacher of The Other and classmates in said choir, re-formed for the School’s 50th Anniversay. “Anyone can sing. I’ll give you an exercise to do to get you started, using Mary had a little lamb…”
Mentally racing through the lyrics I stop at “snow”.

What do I care if I can’t hold a tune? At least I have rhythm.

Gang Show.

Ah, I did see a few many years ago and even enjoyed them, but was never part of one. 
The Other is a natural, despite her lack of rhythm. The funniest person I have ever met, after the Gang Show era she and many talented mates went on to produce their own revues. It was after one of these a very kind celebrity of the time [may he RIP] sponsored The Other and some mates to attend the National Theatre drama school. Lookout world.

To this day, former students regale me with tales of memorable lectures about this or that aspect of Nursing, many of them featuring outlandish costumes and most undignified behaviour.
But, at a huge Gang Show reunion someone who was not a Guide/Scout, can’t hold a tune, and was never part of the shows could only be a third armpit.

Besides, the Gang Show Theme We’ll go riding along on the crest of a wave is only a bees dick away from songs about snow.


A cousin rang and asked me to help her with something. Next weekend? Perfect. Off to Bairnsdale’s beyonds for me.
If it snows while I’m there on the edges of the high country, I shall cry.


  1. Hello Fruitcake,

    This is YOUR OTHER.
    Thank-you for your ?kind? comments. I've been reading your blog for some time now...surprised?

    Now it is time to respond..haha

    Tutoring: Sticking a tongue down the end of a (circumcised) banana demonstrating the corpus cavernosa x3 in the erect penis (in cross section), if it will get my student's attention, then my job is done. Why God made bananas like penises I'll never know, but I bet ALL your dear readers are experimenting, marvelling & passing it on in tea rooms across the world.
    My Choir: When we sang "The Snow" by Sir Edward Elgar, we WON every eisteddford.
    Of course we were school children then and now we are of course all we remember is the snow, snow, snow!!
    Snow don't be so rude...

    Gang Show: I was an "original girl" in 1968 and the dance instructor Mr Maynard decided that all the girls would dance. I was on the end of a Can-can chorus and on opening night, when I stomped my foot down to kick the other up, I stood on the fly curtain, got flung off back stage & was never seen dancing again!
    That's when Ken Bayly (director) decided I should be used in comedy sketches. The rest is history...
    I might add that these three things all help each other in my many walks of TY

    1. Dear Other,
      TY for the link to a clip of "Snow". Please do not be offended if I give it a miss.
      Poor curtain - I can sympathise.
      TY for your kind comments, and all the material you provide. Enjoy your weekend.

  2. Mind if I decline the offer of a banana split should you ever be kind enough to offer me one?

  3. My sister lives in Bairnsdale, she owns four houses there, all furnished from the local tip.

  4. Andrew, no offence would be taken, nor indeed any banana split offered as we do not keep the requisite ingredients in store - crushed nuts have never been my cappuccino.

    RH, they must have a very good class of rubbish in Bairnsdale.

  5. Yes. Or maybe it's in harmony with her houses.

    1. Aahh... the Frankston side of town.