Tuesday, February 7, 2012

this week in spring street

With Ted at the helm, Victoria now has a single regulator for both the alcohol and gaming industries.
“There is no truth at all to the rumour”, the Premier said, “that we will be regulating for mandatory precommitments when people buy liquor.”
“Grog and gambling create jobs and contribute to the GDP,” he went on to say, “and if anyone is going to test changes, it should be the Federal Labor Party, using Canberra as a representative sample of the population at large.”
Pending the results of such a trial, the Minister for Transparent Government has announced the Night Rider buses used to ferry drunks home - thus minimising violence in the city – will be renamed Booze Buses. “After all,” said the Minister, “no-one wants to travel around in a bus which looks like an ad for condoms.”
Finally, Allen Fels, who heads up the Taxi Industry Inquiry, believes he has found a way to stop ongoing attacks on Indian taxi drivers: “Get someone else to drive the bloody things”, he said.
“The impact of a strong Australian dollar, is finally being felt everywhere but WA and Qld. As banks outsource jobs to third world countries and carmakers promise to take their bats and balls and go home, unemployment in Victoria will soon be through the roof. I’m fairly confident that in six months all sorts of people will consider driving taxis a viable way to make a living.”


  1. It's been awhile since I checked the Australian dollar. I didn't realize it went so high again.

    I agree with you. The high dollar seems to cause more problems than benefits.

  2. As usual Ted and his Cronies will probably blame the previous Labour Government for the rising unemployment rate in Victoria and just about anything else you care to mention :-).

  3. Hi Dina,
    it seems the US has had its GFC [and is taking a while to recover]; Europe is in meltdown; and now Australians who don't own mining companies [or are not taking cheap holidays] will be hit. [I can also see dark clouds over the bay, today.]

    Hi Rubye,
    well, we do insist on voting which, I suspect, just encourages them.

    the grass needs mowing again. :)

  4. Might take longer than six months, but I think we should be very afraid.

  5. Hi Andrew, I decided to beat the rush and start worrying now.