Tuesday, December 18, 2012

please don’t look at me in that tone of voice

A shortwhile ago I made some introductory remarks about the proposed Federal Human Rights and Anti‑Discrimination Act 2012.

The Story So Far:
unlawful conduct  includes the usual types of discrimination except when the government does the discriminating.

There is a whole swag of protected attributes – “excuses” we are not permitted to use to discriminate against someone. While I do believe the list is excessive, I must concede that an obsession with the music of the late Elvis Aaron Presley does not rate a mention. Thank God for every small mercy.

There is also a comprehensive definition of a “disability”. There is no mention of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, but if the manual doesn’t recognise Presleyphilia, then no biggie.

Now, Read On:
The bit that’s got everyone stirred up reads like this:

other conduct that offends, insults or intimidates the other person.

The clock is ticking. Soon, it will be an offense to be offensive.

Q. Where will it be an offense to be offensive?
A. In a public place

Q. What is a public place?
A. Work and work-related areas, for example

How lucky am I? I’ve managed to find some work. It’s only casual and it’s only 3 days a week and it’s only 1 hour 40 minutes’ drive in each direction!

Before I even arrived on the scene my new workmates have been working hard to change their ways, in preparation for the passage of this new law.

BOSS:           My mother used to work at Coon’s Shoes
P.A.              I find that offensive
FC                Coon’s Shoes? Wouldn’t that be a contradiction in terms?
BOSS            I find that offensive
P.A.              It would be an oxymoron
FC                Well, there’s no need to be personal

FC                How do you like your coffee?
BOSS            Whi… with milk

Instead of wasting 202 pages of paper, it would be easier if the Act simply said “DON’T think about the elephant in the room.”

Q. Is a blog a public place?
A. Yes, a blog is a public place

Drafting a law well is a challenge, but being able to enforce it is a whole bigger challenge altogether.
However, just to be on the safe side, I shall share the following while I can:

The Archbishop of Canterbury and The Royal Commission for Political Correctness announced today that weather forecasts in the UK should be more inclusive, e.g. “partly Sunni, but mostly Shi'ite”.


  1. Good to know American politicians aren't the only ones drafting up stupid stuff!

    1. MT, I shall resist the temptation to laugh at stupid American politicians. We have our fair share here.

      For a smile, go here:

  2. God I am so sick of all the bs FC. I think I need to quit watching TV and reading blogs for awhile, and be like that doggie with the blue blanket over his eyes. How can you legislate non-discrimination? We've certainly tried over here and look at what a fine shining upstanding culture we have.
    We keep it simple. Everyone hates everyone period.

    1. I don't hate you Rubye. Come back next time and I'll spin you some platitudes. [I can hear you exhaling from here].

      In the meantime, go back here:

  3. Gods don't kill people, people with gods kill people. Its the same as saying "Guns don't kill people, people do" to justify your right to bear arms. I reckon if we got rid of guns and violent gods the planet would be a safer place to live, i wish.

  4. There could be, but probably won't, unintended consequences, shall we say.

  5. I just don't know how to comment in case I unintentionally offend hahaha! Not really it's all too silly, when did we all get so 'precious'..I looooove the list of f's I could give but don't, I am so having that made into a tee shirt, thanks for the tip FC!

  6. A large corporate organisation I once worked for (that shall remain nameless) is possibly the only place in the WORLD to deliver Multicultural Awareness courses on-line.

    1. I think there's a short story in that story. Mind if I use it one day?

    2. Be my guest. But I get to read it first!!! Email me (email on my Google profile) if you want more details!!!

    3. Coming soon to an inbox near you...

  7. Okay peeps, listen up. Nobody wanted to guess/tell what the little doggy under the blue blanket was? Oh well. [exits, sobbing quietly]