Friday, February 22, 2013

what’s in a name?



the cat is not really being sucked up by a vacume cleaner
he is just horrified at what spellcheck is doing to the english lingo

Needed a vac and couldn’t decide which model to buy, so I went with a brand name. This was a big mistake. The brand no longer represented anything beyond a name. Naturally I had thrown away the warranty card. After 3 months gave up trying to find any way to identify or contact the manufacturer. There was no company with that brand name incorporated or even registered as trading under that name. The name was air.


Bought a mini muffin one day and when I unwrapped it, the end of it was rather mangled. It had definitely not been mangled by anything mechanical, it had been ratted. Tried and failed to find anyway to tell the manufacturer their product sucks.

I do prefer a particular brand of tuna because of its taste and texture. Brands don’t always let us down. But I won’t be surprised if it does, one day, and I will never buy it again.

Supermarkets are making their second attempt to launch their own generic brands. The first time, a few decades ago, they tried to appeal based on a no frills price. It has all but fizzled out. Now, they are trying to establish their own brands as of equal quality but better value, or even of greater quality. Competitors’ brands are slowly but inexorably being starved of shelf space. I don’t buy them because I resent the manipulation behind them. Monopoly is not just about screwing the customer, it’s about screwing the supplier as well. Sooner or later suppliers of these generic brands will find their nuts [or ovaries] in a vice in much the same way our dairy farmers already have.

Today, the worst performing, once-trusted but no longer reliable, can’t find anyone interested in what I think let alone prepared to accept responsibility for their product brand, is the Labor Party.


The stuff they produce falls apart and won’t work properly. There is nowhere one can go to have it repaired. I gag on anything they ask me to swallow cos an image of ratshit keeps floating before my eyes. And they have managed to squeeze out all the little players and turn the market for votes into an oligopoly, both chains desperate to screw anyone who comes within cooee. [Well, it seems the Greens brand was synonymous with the name Brown and has, metaphorically speaking, been removed from the shelves.]

Labor no longer stands for anything. A slogan like “there are enzymes in Labor” would be as meaningful as anything they will soon trot out. They are trading solely on their name and the name is no longer one many voters are inclined to trust again, now or in the future.

To paraphrase Bill Hayden’s comment from 30 years ago, a drover’s dog could lead the Liberal Coalition to victory at the next election. In fact, it seems the Coalition is so stable it will be led by the same drover’s dog in September twenty thirteen as it was in twenty ten.



So, where do we go from here?

I shall probably vote for the coalition. The best I can hope for is that the party which is pissing on my leg is one that won’t be trying to convince me it’s raining. If no party is going to give a crap about workers, would-be-workers, the older people who built what we now have [if it hasn’t been sold], the young who should be our future, the ill who deserve some compassion, and more, then I’ll vote for the one that is open about sucking up to the world’s richest woman but will possibly pay off some the national debt as well.

There is no face or name in the Labor Party that can resurrect it now, or in the next ten years. No one with a soupcon of ambition or intelligence would throw away their political career by signing on to a stuffed brand.


This is not necessarily a bad thing. At least, it is only likely to be a bad thing temporarily. There is a huge gap in the market and, God willing, a new third force in politics will appear that actually promises to stand for something. After 3 years of being pissed on during a Coalition induced drought, voters will start buying the new brand. The Labor Party will go the way of the DLP, the Democrats, and the whackos that run what’s left of the Greens.


 




You might be comforted to know none of my grandiose predictions ever bear fruit. But the time, like Labor itself, has never been riper.


13 comments:

  1. Yeah. I think the Labor party has imploded on itself.

    I might like your enzyme slogan.

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    1. For the right price I'll dream up a dozen equally enticing slogans. But only if there's money in it.

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  2. Firstly that first pic is a scream FC, try a Dyson..so good! Secondly I've never been so excited about voting in the State elections for a long time. Early March for us here in WA and I'm so hoping that Elizabeth Quay will be the nail in the coffin for Colin Barnett, I suspect that he will get re-elected unfortunately, and there is no reason to believe Mark McGowan will do any better, but I just can't wait to lodge my vote and hope that WA'ers will think carefully! Politician oy veh!

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    1. It has been a very long time since I got excited about a state election. Or even a federal one. I envy you your sense of hope.

      WA needs another C Y O'Connor. Every state needs another C Y O'Connor. Come to think of it, the country needs another C Y O'Connor. Now that would be exciting.

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  3. Maybe. I imagine former Premier Kennett thought he would be in office for a very long time. Anything over a week is a long time in politics. Good analogy, btw.

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    1. I imagine Jeff did. Sometimes I think he still harbours ambitions. But what is left to sell or rent?

      Was the September announcement supposed to mark the beginning of a campaign or not? Does anyone know? The media seem to be already writing Julia's obituary. A week is a very long time... and here I am I hoping it will only take about 5 years before someone else appears who might fill the vacuum.

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  4. Don't go Coalition, please. We can't have Abbott running the country, ever!

    Go Greens!

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    1. We'll all cringe with embarrassment every time there is some international thing happening with him representing us. Unfortunately, it is inevitable unless Malcolm puts his hand up [at which point hockey will do a running tackle, screaming "what about me?" anyway, and more in that vein etc].

      But polls will show Abbott as the most despised and unpopular leader of all time. YouTube will be awash with creative and artistically contrived footage of him farting while bowing to her maj, and cartoonists will morph his speedos and life saver's cap into a nappy and bonnet he wears while spitting dummies... it won't be all bad.

      As for the Greens, if I put them first I still have to allocate a preference. Sadly, they have probably had their 15 minutes in the sun. They sopped up the disappointed with Labor vote in 2010 but will lose it to the coalition this time round. So who could be a third preference? Mad hatter Katter?

      All this is down to Labor. I could go on. In fact, I probably will.

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  5. As usual, Waleed Aly has hit the nail on the head:

    http://www.canberratimes.com.au/opinion/politics/labor-has-lost-the-plot-and-the-narrative-20130221-2eua9.html

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  6. I resent that I must now vote by default. With any luck, one of the 3 independents will fall on his sword & pull the plug on this whole disgrace and save the 'Orstralyun peepul' from the longest year in history as the election campaign wends it's weary, dreary way to the inevitable conclusion ... Yawn.

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  7. We don't have much to choose from do we? Labor can't help shooting themselves in the foot. The Coalition have got a rabbit for a leader. Malcolm would be a better option.

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    1. Diane, I suspect many people would agree with you.

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