Sunday, August 12, 2012


Board games can be fun. One game friends and I played constantly when it first came out was Trivial Pursuit. Every player had a strength or two, and a weakness. When it comes to quiz questions, my Achilles Heel has always been sport.

This is what I know about sport:

  • Don Bradman played cricket.
  • Not even Msgr Willis’s sermons were as boring as cricket.
  • Nothing on earth is as boring as cricket.
  • Jack Clarke [Ron’s brother] wore the number 1 guernsey for Essendon, and John Coleman – whose statue is in the main drag of Hastings – wore the number 10, and Michael Long, number 13, won the Norm Smith medal.
  • What else… oh, there are two AFL teams whose names begin with F; Fremantle and Collingwood.

Playing Trivial Pursuit, I was always the first or second person to get 5 pieces of pie. But I never, ever got that 6th piece of pie for a sports question, or won a game for about 8 months until the unreal happened:
Til the sports question I was asked was “What is the length of a tennis court?”

My first response to any sports question is HOEWIK*?

But I did it. Somehow, I pondered and chanced upon as good a guess as any, and got the right answer.


After I finally had a win I went straight into shock and forgot the answer, and to this day I have no idea how long a tennis court is.

Have you ever had an UN – REAL moment?

*How on earth would I know?


  1. Many, but all so long ago. One sticks. Seeing Miss Penelope perform in a Smith Street venue. It was a life changing moment; in memory, un real.

    1. Should I hazard a guess about what kind of performer Miss Penelope might be? Would it be something like, but not the same as, seeing Gordon Chater in The Elocution of Benjamin Franklin?

  2. I can relate to your ignorance about sports.

    And I'm glad you finally got to win the game.

  3. What legendary Essendon footballers those three are. I much prefer to play Monopoly or Chess and haven't played 'em for many, many moons.

    1. As a young'un I never did well at Monopoly. My oldest brother always insisted on being the banker and conveyancer. He works in insurance.

      Chess, I am hopeless at. The only time I ever enjoyed a game of chess was when a cousin and I went to the library in Hawthorn and set up a game. It was more than a few years ago. Libraries were whisper quiet in the days before mobile phones. Before he had even moved one piece on the board he let rip a real boy-fart and we both started to giggle. After a dirty look from the librarian we packed up the pieces and left.

  4. Is there a difference between boy farts and girl farts?

    1. How can I type an answer while I'm shaking with laughter... the older I get the more fart stories I collect.
      Well, you might suspect from my tale that I believe there is... the question is, what do you think?
      It's all a rather subjective problem.

    2. Thanks for asking my opinion. I appreciate having the chance to give my input.

      I personally feel there is no difference. But I shall now pay closer attention.

      I think there needs to be a scientific study.

      I'm not sure what type of methodology would be used though. you guys have the pull-my-finger-thing there? Or is that just an American custom? about fart euphemisms.

      Two of the best I've heard. One came from my grandmother. She said "I have garbage in my tuchus.

      The other one came from a family friend. She called it "Floating a biscuit." It makes more sense in American than Australian, since farts don't have a sweet chocolaty smell.

      Please share some of your collected fart stories. If you have many you could start a whole blog on the subject.

    3. Well, if this theme continues we might even end up back on topic which is what is the greatest of your achievements that surprised you the most?

      My aim is to please. An entire post dedicated to the topic of your choice is coming soon to a computer near you.